Ray Rice’s Wife Life Was Ruined by the Media… Not Husbands Knockout Punch!

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    “No one knows the pain that the media & unwanted options from the public has caused my family. To make us relive a moment in our lives that we regret every day is a horrible thing. To take something away from the man I love that he has worked his ass of for all his life just to gain ratings is horrific.”

    Ray Rice’s wife, Janay Palmer, has broken her silence about the beating she suffered at the hands of her then fiance, the NFL RB and former Raven…and guess what? She’s chosen to defend him.

    To be clear, she is defending the man that knocked her out cold and dragged her out of the elevator like a just slaughtered piece of meat. The exact extend of the beating was not known publicly until the video was made public just yesterday.

    Here’s the latest:

    “In a post from her Instagram page Tuesday morning, and verified by the Baltimore Sun, Janay Rice writes, “I woke up this morning feeling like I had a horrible nightmare, feeling like I’m mourning the death of my closest friend. But to have to accept the fact that it’s reality is a nightmare in itself.”

    Rice ended the post by saying, “THIS IS OUR LIFE! What don’t you all get. If your intentions were to hurt us, embarrass us, make us feel alone, take all happiness away, you’ve succeeded on so many levels. Just know we will continue to grow & show the world what real love is! Ravensnation we love you!”

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    187 COMMENTS

    1. This is a truly sad situation. Real men don’t beat women and they surly don’t knock them out cold and act like its burden to them.

      I mean to me it looks like he was thinking look at what she made me do, now I got to carry her out of here, nah, I’ll just drag her ass, SMDH….

      I don’t think she even realizes she is a victim, but most battered women don’t. This probably was not the first time this has happened, just the first time it was caught on tape. Makes me wonder what would have REALLY happened if Beyonce’s bodyguard wasn’t on that elevator.

      • She needs to seek professional help. Her inability to see that the relationship she is in is toxic; is a problem. Her blaming the media/ others; is a problem.

        Either she is scared & feel trapped. Or she is mad because her lifestyle is about to change. Since Rice no longer has a job.

        The end result is Rice will blame her for his career possibly ending. She better get out b4 ahe ends up dead.

        • @BSSMN: I have thought the same thing all day yesterday and today! If she didn’t leave before, she better LEAVE NOW! I’m sure he DOES and has always blamed her for HIS ACTIONS!
          Typical batterer…and typical battered woman.

          • Yeh she is quite brainwashed and standing by her man like a brainwashed zoombie he look like he don’t like women, anyway he got that down low homosexual face all blank no emotion unless he is with his bros or got his shirt off posing. Men who beat women are closeted homosexuals, I assert. Straight men don’t beat women but down lows do they HATE women.

      • Let’s et al….this woman caused her problems. She elected to not only remain with this jerk, she MARRIED him! Why, MONEY, the money they won’t be having now.

        I’m most concerned about her children. This isn’t a woman who puts her children’s safety and their mother’s safety ahead of her own personal desire to be attached to who she thought would be a wealthy man! SAVE THE CHILDREN – SOMEBODY PLEASE!!!!!!

      • That’s right..homegirl is like yall f’n with my money. I’m over it, I even married dude so yall get over it too.

      • People act like this man slit a womans throat in front of a children at disneyworld???????? What is this world coming to. The Illuminati is truly making this corrupted american society mind slaves. One agenda, Turn Gender vs. Gender!!!!! Man vs. Woman! It also might lead to homosexuality. Whoever is reading this..Wake up!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • I am so pissed off with his wife. How dare you accuse the media of ruining your life. You are such a battered woman. Stop being spineless and jellyback. Mrs Rice don’t worry not much will be done about this case! You are not among the valued population.

    2. Real love? If that’s what luv entails then I want no part. Fortunately I have experienced the realest love there is, so I know better. It’s been several years since my last relationship because I refuse to put up with shenanigans like this. Get n that Word and seek God w everything that’s in u and then and only then will u wake up from this horrible dream. Ladies let’s realize our self worth and the true gift we r. If we wait on God and get out mind right we should never think to settle for this sugar honey iced it. .. gotta luv urself first.

    3. “To take something away from the man I love that he has worked his ass of for all his life just to gain ratings is horrific.”

      One of the signs of a battered women is to make excuses for the batterer’s behavior, she would have been better off staying silent. This statement makes it seem like she condones what he did to her.

      • I think it makes him look worse. She is the definition of a battered woman. He looks like a monster.

        • She needs her head examined. he beat her like a rented mule and she hung around for the money. Now the money is gone and she is ‘mad’? she need help.

      • The WY she slapped him when she came around the corner does not seem like she was battered or scared, and then the way she lunged at him in the elevator seems like they do it all the time, im not condoning his actions but i have personal expierience with a real battered woman and she would never have the confidence to haul off and slap her abusive husband without fearing the beating he would give her later, the reason why shes defending him is because she knows she was hitting him first and she feels guilty just like,Rihanna did

        • I didn’t see that part, the video I watched some where else just kept showing him hitting her and dragging her out of the elevator, wow.

          I had a friend who would hit her boy friend or break something he valued (like his car) just to provoke him to hit her. You know what she said after I asked why she did shit like that? She stated,”Because if a man don’t hit you, he don’t love you.”

          Now what kind of effed up shit is that? We were young back then but that is no excuse, this mentality is so prevalent with a lot of women regardless of age.

          I really like what anonymous 09:06 said and it’s so true. Women need to realize their self worth, then they would see all the signs and avoid men like this in the first place. Because the first thing they do is go after your self esteem.

        • Speak the truth then, that’s what I’ve been saying, she provoked that whole incident, doesn’t make ray rice right, but I guarantee none of this would have happened had she kept her hands to her self!

          • Your guarantee isn’t worth shit…no offense. I’ve lived this life…watching my mom instigate fights and not instigate fights. A battered man will batter no matter what!
            If my dad had a bad day he would come home and start shit with my mother. If they argued, sometimes she’d hit him first and sometimes he’d hit her first.
            Like someone said on here earlier (forgot who) but men who batter seek out victims sometimes consciously and sometimes subconsciously.
            Besides, even if she provoked him, there is no reason on God’s green earth why he should be hitting her like that or any other way. It takes a man to walk away or talk it out. It takes a weak ass p*ssy bitch to punch a woman PERIOD!

          • The truth is she is a woman and he is a man with twice the strength of a female. He could have handled the situation totally different if he was a real man. For example; grabbing her hands, telling her to calm down or stop. But what did he do the same thing my friend’s boyfriend did, knock the shit out of her.

            That’s what cowards do. Maybe if he had of saved all that violence and frustration for the field his stupid ass would still have a job.

            What’s in my purse? A gun so coward ass men can miss me with that mess.

        • I watched my mother get her ass beat all my childhood… And beat bad! Watched an older sister repeat the same abuse. And will swear on everything that’s sacred to me that I saw my mother do the same shit as this woman did in the hall way. If my dad flirted with another woman, my mom would slap him and all hell would break loose! Saw my sister doing the same thing. Even though they knew they would get hurt, both of them lashed out at their husbands. I don’t know why, but both of them THINK they are strong women who don’t take shit from a man…but they always stayed…my mom stayed with him for 20 plus years and my sis stayed with her husband for 8, getting beat at least once a week. Hell I even saw my mom run and jump on my dad’s back and punch him in the head while he was trying to walk away.
          That time he put her in the hospital. My mom is 5’1and 100 pds. My dad was 6’2 and 250 at that time. Same with my sister…she was tiny and her husband was a big man.

        • @Anna-Thank you! You could or I could tell she was talking mess and reached out to hit him on the way to the elevator. One in the elevator, she tried to slap him once or twice, then she lunged at him the whole time trying to hit him. I don’t feel sorry for her at all. I don’t think women should get a pass to hit men just because they’re a woman. I say if a woman hits a man, she should expect to get hit back. You already know this wasn’t even close to the first time they’ve had an encounter like that.

          • Gemma, I just looked at the video on here. I kept hitting pause and play. When he was standing there with his cell phone waiting for her to get closer, it looks like her spit on her and she reached at his mouth and kept walking looking back like here we go. Once they get in the elevator watch hand as she presses the elevator button at the 3:32 mark he looks like he spit on her again and if you watch his left shoulder he hit her and she put up her hand and looked straight at him, then she looks like she walked up to spit on him and he cold cocked her.

            Look at it again and keep pushing the pause button so you can see it in slow motion. This shit is bananas.

          • Hi gemma
            Raise your boys like that and they will go to jail. It would serve them better to act right and /or pick better. PS life is not fair but right is right and wrong is wrong. The strong should not beat the weak.4real

        • Here’s a thought,maybe she forgave him.It was said they fight a lot.

          America is full of hypocrites,and this story is a reflection of it in so many ways.

          Also supposedly a newer fuller version of the video has them both cursing each other out and her spitting on and hitting him before the ko..

          And what’ even more insane is that Rice got punished AGAIN for the same crime after he was already punished, in light of the fact he told the league and the team exactly what was in that video.

          How about putting some blame on the police in Atlantic City and the judge who let Ray go for some treatment,this same judge who is going to lock up a sister for 3 years because she took her legally registered gun in PA to NJ where it was not registered.

          She had the gun because I believe she had been robbed,she didn’t realize she was breaking the law and for that mistake she’s getting 3 years.

          She was stopped by the police in her car,told the cops about the gun and was arrested. She tried to get the same break Rice did and this asinine judge refused.

          It’s ironic that Rice played on the same team as Ray lewis who may or may not have played a roll in 2 Black men killed in Atlanta,and played in the same league who celebrated Lewis.

          Ben rothliesberger supposedly raped two woman in the offseason a while ago,the cops bundled the case and he was only suspended 6 games and no one ever brings that up. Again hypocrites in the NFL.

          Ray Rice has received a 7 million dollar bonus PLUS a 15 million dollar signing bonus either last year or the year before so with the previous money he earned,if he was smart he won’t have to work again if he doesn’t want to.

          And he’ll probably be back next year.I’m praying for he and his wife and others who are in need of prayer.Why, because we all will make mistakes and he was taking his punishment and getting help.

          • You speaking truth. Men shouldn’t just beat on women for no reason, but I believe that ANYONE who spits on me can get the consequences of that act. Women shouldn’t hit men and men shouldn’t hit women. But if anyone hits me I’m hitting back. Doesn’t matter if its a man, woman, or child. Big, small or whatever. That is how the women in my family raised me. Real women and men understand this. Fake broads kill me with that “men should never hit women under any circumstances” shit. These same women want to claim all this equal rights stuff and be equal to men in every way. Well when you get wrong enough you can get an equal ass whoopin. Don’t try to pull the “but I’m just a woman, don’t hit me back” card out yo ass after you provoke a situation.

    4. This is sad…You can see it in her facial expressions that she is defeated emotionally and physically, this is most definitely NOT the first time this has happened. By the way he dragged her off the elevator like “here we go again!”

      • Agreed! Their body language during the press conference speaks volumes! I didn’t see a ring on her finger either… Is it me or does the video seem to show him spitting (like Solange did Jay) on her after he cornered her in the elevator? When she retaliates he cold cocked her. She could have died in that elevator the way her head hit the rail. Where did she learn the way love is supposed to work and what are they teaching their kid about how to love someone? Scary…

        • You best believe she could have died from that!! And her head hitting the hand rail in the elevator is the smoking gun, according to Rachel Maddow, that the full video HAD been seen prior to TMZ releasing it. Chris Mortenson of ESPN stated that those who had seen the inside the elevator video reported that she not only took a brutal cold cock to the head, but even worse, she was knocked onto a hard metal railing on her way to the floor. He said that on the day the outside the elevator video was leaked. Now, if it was described perfectly to him, then we should assume someone did see it. So Rachel said that this is indicative of the fact that Rice was not given the boot by the Ravens or the indefinite suspension by the NFL until they realized that WE THE PUBLIC had seen it. They reacted to cover their own asses.

    5. According to her wording (excuses), and facial expressions, she appears to be the victim of Battered Wife Syndrome. She talks of how hard he worked his ass off. By the looks of this video, the only thing he worked his ass off, is by knocking her out, and then he proceeds to drag her out the elevator, like yesterdays trash!. And The CARTERS thought that their elevator episode was something!!!

    6. NOBODY GOES TO BED ON SUNDAY, AND WAKE ON MONDAY GETTING BEAT! We now live in the days of not helping stupid ppl…. sorry but true. My husband was at a bar and a local slammed his wife’s head into the bar! The bar tender told myhusband, don’t worry they do this ALL THE TIME! The locals didnt even flinch!

      The first time it happens get help! Other wise ppl will know you are that person who gets beat…. sad but true! No one has the right to put their hands on you!

    7. This thread is going to catch fire. It’s gon be some fights and some, “you a stupid motherf*cker” comments thrown around in here. Im gonna need me some cheetos..lol.

      • Man the way some of these dirt bags get so upset over mere words it is safe to say a whole lot of them that log onto this site are also going upside their MATES heads and a lot of woman are getting a beat down that is why they stay MAD

      • Janay is typical of many women in violent relationships. Her self-esteem has been sucked out of her. A woman defending a man that inflicts pain on her mentally and physically… Broken Down! Her husband had to bite the bullet. The NFL is taking major heat for this, it’s bad business. And, they wanna expand the female fan base, have games overseas, etc. Ray Rice made Goodell look foolish, he had to drop the hammer on his head. Her life is probably in more danger now. Ray Rice lost his job, suspended indefinitely. Janay is gonna be blamed. “Stupid Blank Blank Blank, If You Had Done So And So… It’s Coming! Hopefully, this never happens again.

        • TYRONE, I get what you saying but speaking from the football aspect of this. FUCK ROGER GODELL, he made himself look like a fool. This is not the first domestic violence situation that took place on his watch. Domestic Violence Does not Only Apply To BF/GF ,husband wife or even in today’s world Husband/ husband or Wife/Wife. Roger Godell dropped his proverbial ball when he let Dez Bryant chocked his own mother with no major penalty. I guess women over the age of 30 don’t matter because they ain’t you fan base. Not everybody has a sister or a girlfriend but everybody has a mother. Roger Godell is a spineless cocksucker that does not care about old black women. And Dez Bryant will soon be signing one the richest WR contracts in history. DO Your job Roger….BITCH!!!!!

          • Eddie, You’re So Right Brotha! I apologize for not being aware of the Dez Bryant incident. I no longer keep up with Sports like i used to, as far as watching ESPN, FOX SPORTS, televised games, talk-radio, etc. Sane black folk know the powers that be in the baller industry exploit blackwomen via their sons. At the same time, they discriminate against our Sistas just the same. Goodell needs to go, he has no credibility left. Dez Bryant a ghetto bastard, always has been since he came in the league. Eddie, these brothas in the league don’t realize that we’re onto them. All the foolishness that goes on… We See It! As a blackman, it’s sad to see what’s become of these brethren. The owners are racist, our health is unimportant, black womanhood is disrespected, and so forth… A Bad Mix Altogether! Thank You Brotha!!!

            • Hey brother, you are right. I Have Loved AND Played Sports ALL My Life. But pro sports these days are a joke. From the inconsistencies that Godell displays in his decision making and distribution of punishment all the way over to the NBA and the new big three format that it takes for these people to win championships. Buy GODELL IS Horrible bruh. Just to name a few more of his blatant inconsistencies were when he let bill bill i check get away with spygate, how do you let the coach of the team that has dominated the last ten years get away with recording the other teams play calling while listening to the audio of the coaches. This man gets a half million dollar fine and mo game suspendion. But Sean payton has players and coaches on his team who are betting money on who can get the biggest hits in a game. Now it was proven that Sean payton wasn’t aware of this stuff, but you still suspension him for a year. Bad thing about is that, this is what defensive players do, try to hit the offensive players as hard as they can, so what’s the big deal here and the re is much muck more, because the Pittsburgh QB has been accused of rape three times. He just let’s some people get away with murder. Speaking of that, I bet he would let that tight end from NE play he said, he was sorry for killing his friend. He is a horrible leader

        • The Lord is my Sheppard, he know what I want!!!! ****Calling out and walking real fast*** B Stivvv, B Stivv!!!!

          • I’m not trying to rush you. I just want to brush you. And maybe spray a little oil sheen, if you know what I mean. — Me to ELTHP

            • Wow, what a coincidence, just went to the bathroom to check and see how much afrosheen I got left and before I got to open the cabinet, I looked in the mirror and saw Chester Cheeto it’s took a minute before I realized, Chester Cheeto, WAS ME!!!!. I need to quit cheezin…..lol

              • I have Pink Oil Moisturizer spray in the tall can. Save your Afro Sheen as a backup. *grabs boar’s hair brush*

      • well put TB

        The post-honeymoon phase could well end not in the courts but on the Coroner’s table. That man has the hitting power of two men.

    8. Ok, so while everybody was feeling sorry for her and showing sympathy, she’s getting angry at the media for exposing her husband as a woman beater.

      Rright, then good luck with that marriage woman. Now that the NFL contract is gone, money will be tight in the future. And guess who’s going to be blamed later on?

    9. when she ends up dead,it will not be a suprise, a sad day naw cause she looks black eyes and ass beating, what a damn fool,love does not kill or hit,Fix it Jesus

    10. If that was my sister or cousin,, we would have turned his Ass
      Into Ray ” Fried” Rice . Bottom line , I don’t care how much
      Paper he got.

    11. Had a student who turned up one morning with her mouth wired shut. I was in shock and shut down my morning schedule to find her assistance with abuse from her boyfriend. She basically told me to calm down, he was only trying to slap her, she was not leaving him and she would be fine. Just this summer had an older neighbor accuse her husband of rape. The entire neighborhood has witnessed him being verbally abusive to her. She has not left him. I just refuse to tolerate any type of abuse especially in my home. When I tried talking to my student about getting help, it was as if I was speaking chinese,she could not comprehend. And when she tried explaining her reasons for not seeking help and that her bf really didn’t mean to break her jaw, it was as if she was speaking ancient greek, I could not comprehend. The situation left me so unsettled that I sought counseling, which has led me to believe that there are many cultural differences within the black community. I was shown/taught to never accept abuse but others were taught differently. Bottom line, my daughter knows that she does not ever deserve to be abused by a bf, fiance, or husband and should never accept such behavior. If it occurs, disassociate immediately. Mommas door is always open for her.

      • No she can stamp this on the Black community. seventy two precent out of wedlock. almost fifty years of mass black fatherlessness. other cultures have more marriage in their communities that means more daddies and granddaddies regulating shit. Black folks are sick and quite dysfunctional. the men are coddled and excused. No snitching, remember?? that means BM are allowed to beat maim murder etc and the cops won’t be called. just so know recognize.

        • This happens in all ethnic groups, whites, latinos, asians, pacific islanders, indians, etc. I live in Southern California, worked in the courts/social service system, so I know what I’m talking about. It also doesn’t matter what economic background you come from, women, men, & children are abused by their significant other, or parents daily. People in wealthy communities are abused regularly, it just isn’t made public (used to listen to the DA investigators). Also, participate in any ministry/church outreach group & you will hear the stories. In Ray Rice’s case, his was videotaped that is what got him in trouble. Don’t think those NFL, NBA, MLB white boys aren’t beating their ladies……it just hasn’t been made PUBLIC yet….thats all.

            • Alcohol does strange things to Pacific Islanders. Beautiful humble people till the devil in the bottle gets em. They eyes black out and look straight thru you. That’s when you know it’s time to leave. True story.

        • If the black community is ‘quite sick’, tell me where we learned this pathology? I don’t care what anyone tries to say–this society is rotten & poisonous; so why would anyone expect the fruit to be healthly if the soil that nurtures it is drenched in blood & dysfunction?

          • That’s very profound, but someone will argue with you just to prove the point that Ray Rice is a punk who beat his fiance, which he is. But for someone to try and overshadow your words of wisdom just to say Something negative about Ray Rice and black men would prove their opposition to logic and knowledge in preference of a negative or destructive comment towards a gender or a race. Let’s hope it does not happen, but thanks for your comment.

      • The dirty little secret is…
        this situation is in every race, every income level, every political preference, every education level.
        No one can say that one group is more prone to be this way than others.

      • @anon 10:41…Oh please, I know PLENTY white people who are in or have been in the same situation. I’m HALF WHITE and hunny this is NOT exclusive to the black community!
        Just because you saw this happening to a black girl??? Really??? U think this only happens with blacks????
        I witnessed abuse of my mother by my black father…and I don’t think all black men beat women!!! Damn!!!

      • ROTFL @ HUF. I won’t break track & field if I see a hand raised, because I will not mess up my hair or my shoes. But I will break out the Heckler & Koch and play bullets beat fists. Iwishaniggawould.

        • The H&K huh, go on with you bad self…lol. But check this out. When the situation escalates and the weapons are about to get pulled and the bang bang bangin is inevitable. You won’t even know you got on heels And the if the hair gets messed up, A wig AKA, THE HAIRPIECE Will fix dat Lil problem. Open and shut case Johnson….lol

          • I rarely wear heels. I wear sneakers, sandals and flip flops. Lol. I don’t want my damn kicks messed up. You know I keep the exclusives and deadstocks on deck.

            I don’t wear wigs. If a man messed up my hair… (insert evil eye > here <) Yeah, we won't get into that.

            The closest I come to allowing violence in my home is a little choking or a bit of spanking, but that's another topic for another place. Other than that, keep your hands off of me and my damn Doritos! Lol.

            • If your Doritos get Devoured, don’t get mad, just get payback, just taste cheetos, you might like em…lol

            • That Doritos comment was a reference to a Doritos commercial. “Keep your hands off of my mama. Keep your hands off my Doritos.” Lol.

              I love Cheetos, btw. I love several Frito Lay products. I should buy Frito Lay stock.

            • Well you and that Lil boy gon be mad cause, the Doritos and the puispialadosious will be eaten before halftime.

            • I thought you were either possessed by the spirit of Joseline Hernandez or Juanita Bynum when she called herself typing in tongues on FB. I get it, and I sure hope to get it. Just make sure you bless your food before you eat. The kitchen and the cook are clean, tho. 😉

          • You know what, I think Juanita and Javalina, I mean Joseline, would probably try and take my damn dish, I think they both like it’s as much as I do. The only thing that I think will save me is that the kitchen is clean. I know Joseline likes to eat from dirty roach infested dives. But i tell you one thing, most people tip the waitress, TIP the cook , and im a very gratuitous, even Generous. I’m a big tipper and if the food is, fresh, moist and tender, it’s will show in the TIP.

            • Welp…

              My restaurant is for men only. No female patrons allowed. I appreciate a generous patron. My portions are generous. I hope you like the meal. The restaurant was closed for a long time, so if you don’t mind being the only patron in a long time, you are more than welcome to visit and stay awhile.

              The food is very fresh, moist and tender. The presentation is nice, too. I will make sure to keep plenty napkins on deck so you can make sure your face and hands are clean once you leave the restaurant.

              I hope you enjoy your dining experience.

            • Well you would have a loyal customer, I frequent one eatery. When you find that one place that’s clean and makes your favorite apetizer, main course, and dessert just the way you like it, it’s makes IT Extremely HARD try another place. Too many places have kitchens that have not properly been cared for and ever fewer that are a triple threat. Depending on my workload a place that I can get to at least once and maybe twice a day. And breakfast is an important meal. Sometimes breakfast will be missed, but the days when breakfast can be enjoyed, I like fruit, and a place that has takes pride in their fruit selection especially melons will have themselves a very loyal customer, one who ALWAYS leaves that nice TIP. Good Service + Great Food × Loyal Patron + Big Tips = 4 of July on 5 plus days of every month.

            • I understand how hard it can be to find a reputable *ahem* establishment that can pass inspection. I am very diligent in maintaining my establishment, so I hope you would be pleased with it.

              Breakfast is an important meal, but sometimes you may be in a rush first thing in the am, so you either need a quick bite or you need to skip a meal. Dinner is usually a better time. That way, you can relax and not feel so rushed. If you patronized the establishment once a day, that would be awesome. Anything in addition to that, well…

              There’s more that I could say, but this isn’t exactly the place. If you can think of another place to continue this dialogue, I’m open to suggestions.

    12. SIGNS YOU’RE IN A PHYSICAL OR SEXUALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP. POWER AND CONTROL BY YOUR ABUSER IS SOUGHT OUT BY USING ANY OR ALL OF THESE METHODS.

      1. USING COERCIAN AND THREATS – MAKING AND OR CARRYING OUT THREATS TO DO SOMETHING TO HURT HER; THREATENING TO LEAVE HER, ETC.

      2. USING ECONOMIC ABUSE – PREVENTING HER FROM GETTING A JOB; MAKING HER ASK FOR MONEY, ETC.

      3. USING MALE PRIVELAGE (TREATING HER LIKE A SERVANT; MAKING ALL THE BIG DECISIONS; ACTING LIKE THE MASTER OF THE CASTLE)

      4. USING CHILDREN – MAKING HER FEEL GUILTY ABOUT THE CHILDREN; USING THE CHILDREN TO RELAY MESSAGES

      5. MINIMIZING, DENYING AND BLAMING – MAKING LIGHT OF THE ABUSE AND NOT TAKING HER CONCERNS ABOUT IT SERIOUSLY, SAYING THE ABUSE DIDN’T HAPPEN; SHIFTING RESPONSIBILITY FOR ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR; SAYING SHE CAUSED IT.

      6. USING ISOLATION – CONTROLLING WHAT SHE DOES, WHO SHE SEES AND TALKS TO; WHAT SHE READS, WHERE SHE GOES; WHAT SHE WEARS, USING JEALOUSY TO JUSTIFY ACTIONS, ETC.

      7. USING EMOTIONAL ABUSE – PUTTING HER DOWN; MAKING HER FEEL BAD ABOUT HERSELF; CALLING HER NAMES; MAKING HER THINK SHE’S CRAZY; PLAYING MIND GAMES

      8. USING INTIMIDATION – MAKING HER AFRAID BY USING LOOKS, ACTIONS, GESTURES; SMASHING THINGS; DESTROYING HER PROPERTY, ABUSING PETS; DISPLAYING WEAPONS.

      • Ironically, what you outlined above is what has been used on black people as a whole since slavery. We have unfortunately learned well & have never gotten healing or counseling for centuries of living under what is the hidden psychological abuse that has been passed down generationally. So is it really any wonder some of our brothas & sistahs have internalized that learned behavior & go out into the world and spread the poison? It’s to be expected. The psychosis that keeps on giving. Generation after generation.

        • There is sometime called FREE WILL. You make it seem as though bp are helpless children. stop making excuses it don’t help that is called coddling and enabling.

          • Black People are products of our environment. Just like any other human being. If you are not AWARE that your traditions and culture is dysfunctional and harmful b/c that’s ALL you have known is dysfunction, then why would you be compelled to change? I just get tired of people ALWAYS blaming some black people for exhibiting behavior that has been USED against us for centuries. We learned how to treat each other by OTHERS who have never had our best interest at heart. Old habits die hard for some.

            • THIS! Props!

              But I will go further.

              Many cultures and peoples have become extinct due to behaviors incompatible with change and survival.

              Hmmm.

    13. Janay has been with a millionaire for years. It is her fault and her fault alone that she has not finished medical school or law school. If she had she would have options right now. Can’t fix stupid. Sorry.

      • That’s so condescending and judgemental. If it was all about money, poor women would bot stay with their abusers and we all know that’s not true. Likely there is something in her past ….or she is lacking in self esteem. A very beautiful, and I would have thought strong, older woman, a business partner of my husbands told me she would never leave her husband because he is unstable and would kill her . I cannot comprehend living beside a man who could potentially murder me, I just can’t. I honesty believe the money must bot matter past a point. It’s fear.

        • You’re entitled to your opinion but I offered a solution which is more than most have done. I’m not going to date a rich person and only have THINGS to show for it. But hey that’s just me. I don’t care if it’s truck driving school or opening a hallmark store. Get your own so u dont have to deal with bullshit. Condescending or not its real talk.

          • To be fair, she actually does have a degree in Communications of all things from Towson University I believe. She is defeated mentally & once that happens, logic goes out the door.

              • I see you K and you are so on point. That doesn’t remove one iota of the blame from Mr. Rice, but it does show that there were alternatives to the “she stays for the security” excuse. She could have been building her own escape mechanism these past years. But I reiterate, she is 100# blameless for her fate, and likely she was too battered and mind controlled to enact such a plan as the “Mike Tyson Marital Education and Entrepreneurial Scholarship” as practiced by Dr. Steele-Tyson.

          • What’re proof do you have that she is with him for the bread. I mean, what REAL proof. Not speculation, conjecture and your own opinion. Cuz wasn’t she with him before the money, even tho their marriage is relatively recent?

          • So true smarter,
            There are women with much less who are able to walk away from their abusers. Ray was dead ass wrong for his actions BUT I get the feeling the violence in their relationship goes both ways.

            If this was a true case of a women being constantly victimized, girly would’ve left as soon as the video came out with the backing of tons of support from the women’s groups and the NFL.

            She is staying with Rice for both the financial support and because she is just as violent as he is. Kinda like Rihanna and Chris.

            • My post is titled Ray Rice was wrong

              RAY RICE WAS WRONG..BUT, It’s obvious violence goes both ways because she is not scared of him. RAY RICE IS WRONG CAUSE, He is a man and he should not hit a woman, I understand that. RAY RICE IS WRONG, But you better believe that when she be putting them paws on that midget she married, it does not feel good. RAY RICE IS WRONG and I don’t know what their deal and may never know what went down. RAY RICE IS WRONG, but if you look at it, she is defiantly not scared of him and I don’t know anyone who isn’t scared or at least cautious of somebody who whoops their ass. RAY RICE IS WRONG but, I want to know why she was Comfortable slapping him in a common area like in the elevator lobby. RAY RICE IS WRONG, but anyone who is willing to put their hands on you in front of other people in, in a public place, that too screams abuser. RAY RICE IS WRONG, but I think they one of those dysfunctional bonds when two people think it’s exciting to fight then f*ck…. lol.

              • So true ELT! Especially that last sentence. I’ve had friends who were just like that. It was too much drama for me, that friendship had to end.

              • It looked like he spit on her. When you spit on someone, that’s asking for an azz whoopin’. Last time someone spit on me I was 11 years old and blacked out and beat the shyt out of a 22 year old. Didn’t know what happened til the neighbors were like, Damn. You Beat Her Azz.

              • I should have added that she did it wrong. A woman has to be strategic when going up against a man. I am in no way condoning this type of violence, but I will say that if a man spit on me, his azz is going to be roasted and toasted….Strategically.

          • Smarter:

            Janay/Jenay (however you spell it), is new school. All these new school heauxs do is learn how to give up the strangle from every angle for a played out Celine bag and some Christian Louboutin pumps. They won’t get cash from the guy, pocket and bank most of it, then spend a little at the mall. They won’t buy out Nordstrom then take most of that shit back and get cash money after using his credit card. They won’t start a business or throw stacks in a safe or safe deposit box. That’s too much like right. This Ray Rice shit reads like an episode of The Game. When Jenay/Janay, who is really a Girl Melanie leaves Ray (or he dumps her), where is her security? I know why she is mad. TMZ f*cked up her money. I would be mad, too, if my nigga just lost nearly $7 million in a day. Hell, I’d be homicidal. The only way to combat such a loss is to be something in life her damn self. You are so right, but everyone else is busy coddling her like she is some weak, dumb girl. Jenay/Janay is as tall as Ray and damn near as big. She thought she could take him, until he cranked that Mike Tyson. Oh, well.

        • Ikr. Let me find out Oprah feelin a nigga I’m gon have a McDonalds, a weave shop and a GI Joe with the Kung fu grip. In a couple years when Big O come home tripping tryin to slap a nigga around I’m bouncin and slinging burgers. I’ll show you how to do dis son.

        • I think Da is referring to the statements Janay has made after the attack, not the actual attack.
          I don’t think she has SS tho. She’s just seems like one of those ride of die kind of woman to me. I can’t relate.

    14. do’t you find it interesting how ray’s career ok but when chris struck that herpes infested bytch the (white) media when for him!! but not for ray??? ummmmmmmm something smells fishy

      • So that wasn’t chris on the Grammys, dancing in the mike Jackson tribute or throwin chairs and bitchin at cancer stricken robin Roberts on Gma? Are you retarded? Don’t has four letters not three.

      • I wouldn’t say, being banned from the NFL classifies as having your career survive a scandle, stupid action or a mishap. Was he about to announce his retirement at the next home game or something?

    15. This is typical battered women’s behavior. When my officers go out on a Family Violence call, the woman will fight the officers if they try to take the abuser to jail for beating her. Oftentimes, the man has just beat the woman senseless, but the minute the police arrive on the scene, the woman jumps on the police like they beat her. Mrs. Rice, whether she knows it or not, is displaying that typical behavior. It’s very sad. I wish them the best, as things like this (getting fired) only trigger more abuse from the offender. Believe me, she’s not only receiving “pain” from the media…Mr. Rice is treating her even worse now. He will be a monster in that house. I know all to well how the cycle spins… God bless her.

      • Yeh you are right a friend of mine is a nurse she says something like that, too. Stockholm Syndrom. You KNOW he is beating da ass at home cursing her out like a dog blaming her that he don’t love her and he is secretly gay. Look at him. He isn’t str8 that is the whole prob, a forced marriage for his image.

    16. Well, she should really think about the situation, no job, lifestyle, what’s gonna be the next excuse?

    17. Now that he lost his job, he’s REALLY gonna beat her azz. He’s going to blame everything on her. smh…lol. She gotta run and don’t look back!!

    18. I WAS ONCE AN NFL PLAYER SOME OF THESE WOMEN WILL PUSH YOU TO THE LIMIT,
      MY RESPONSE DONT GET CONNECTED UNTIL MY CAREER IS OVER

      • It sounds like you should make better choices in women & the women should make better choices in men. Why would they be pushed in the first place if you didn;t give them reason. Instead of saying heaux or b!tch say I love you. Don’t you get connected until you meet the one you can say those words to & mean it. Ray Rice is a pink

      • Men better remember who was around when their chips were still down (though not all women you just meet when your coins are up want your money).

        • Preach. When men rise up the ladder, they end to forget. Heads get big. They can now afford the type of woman they fantasized about. Then they throw the one who helped them succeed.

    19. I already knew how this was gonna go down. I knew she was gonna and defend him. Let me tell yall something, SOCIAL MEDIA is “a gift & a curse”. Janay is more mad at the people and media that went against her husband than she is with her own husband. Now the Rice’s are probably about to go on a media tour probably talk with Diane Sawyer & Oprah, file some law suits, or maybe do a reality show like couples therapy and marriage boot camp. Ya’ll were ranting and raving about Chris Brown beating Rihanna and it bit yall in the azz and she got back with him. Oh trust me it’s not over yet!

    20. I grew up in a home where there was mental and physical abuse from the hands of my father, who probably was going through his own mental issues at the time. Whenever my father would get into one of his episodes my mother would just stand there and take the verbal abuse and even physical abuse. I always wondered why?…. When she grew up in a loving home with both her parents there. When I became older I began to look at the relationship that some of my older siblings where in some abusive, some cheater, some compulsive liar types of relationship, etc. I realized at a young age that I didn’t want to be treated in such a manner as my mother was in or sibling where in when I got older. It took me about 10 yrs to be able to look into a mirror and tell myself that I was beautiful and know my self worth. I had to basically tear down all of the mental and physical abusive wall that my father placed within my own pyche and with the help of God I build up the walls of good self esteem, positive thinking, and I began to love myself. Because of the years of abuse my mother chose to stay in relationship(s) like the one between her and my father but she lost her way as a woman, mother and grandmother. Ladies and Mothers we have to lead by example. Set the example for your daughters and sons. Men be good fathers to your daughter and sons. Nobody’s perfect, but most of all LOVE with your whole heart. GOD BLESS.

      • Thanks for sharing your story. You gave some heartfelt examples to counter balance these fools who keep implying that she stays for the money, its her fault etc. Watch some clown hop on and start criticizing your mother. I’m telling you people suck. That said, I’m glad you understand the cycle you grew up in and broke through. Stay blessed.

        • Thanks black enga and anony. As a women or men who’ve been abused we have to learn to not repeat the same cycle that we grew up in. Years later my dad succombed to PTSD and Bipolar where he lost his mind and we had to but him a nursing home. My mom is now dealing with breast cancer. But i pray their strength in God everday. One of my sister’s is Bipolar and she’s been through the exact same type ofrelationships as my mom has. And i said all of that to say that sometimes people are dealing with a mental disease that causes them to react in such way that they act …and i’m not excusing Ray Rice or Janay Rice behavior at all.

      • What a sweet and informative post. I pray that you have every happiness this life can give. You are a woman who will make a difference, because you refuse to let someone else tell you what you are worth!
        Praise God for ladies like you!

    21. JUST OUT: Ray Rice is now talking about how he’s handling the fall-out in the wake of the brutal elevator video … saying, “I have to be strong for my wife.”

      One day after Ray was cut from the Ravens and suspended by the NFL, Rice opened up to ESPN … telling the network, “[Janay] is so strong. We are in good spirits.”

      Ray continued, “We have a lot of people praying for us and we’ll continue to support each other. I have to be there for [Janay] and my family right now and work through this.”

      Janay also spoke with ESPN … saying, “I love my husband. I support him. I want people to respect our privacy in this family matter.”

      Read more: http://www.tmz.com/2014/09/09/ray-rice-breaks-silence-i-have-to-be-strong-for-my-wife/#ixzz3CqjRZ2oU

    22. This bitch is dumb as f*ck he probably beat her ass regulary an than she married how stupid can this bitch be this dumb hoe dont want togive up that lifestyle thats why she didnt leave total humalited her for the world to see women need to know there worth iI dont care how long she been wit him hit me once im gone f*ck that shit aint noman on this f*cking earth gon do that shit to me. He could have killed her hit her in the wrong place in her head.These bitches got low self worth,an low self esteem theses day she probably do love him but im telling theses bitches get beat all the time that incident was just caugh on tape,they dont want to get up that lifestyle so let them do whatever they want threesomes,groupies,hooker the list goes on an on Real Women know ur worth in life.It always ends bad death is the next step.

      • It is a sad situation. They have a daughter too. It might not be too easy to leave if your child might get separated from you

    23. Regardless if they have been together for years he married her so she couldn’t testify against him. She on the other hand is stupid.

    24. If his wife is big enough to forgive him then who are these outsiders not to? People mess up all the time and that is human nature. Some women got a lot of mouth and when they get the f*ck knocked out of them,people want to call them victims. Go to YT and watch some of those videos of women being violent. When a man messes up,and especially if he is Black,people want to destroy the rest of his life. Ray Rice did wrong,but that should not destroy his life. She forgave him and so we have no right not to.

    25. SMH. I stopped feeling sorry for that girl after she sat on that soundstage and co-signed her husbands actions.
      Ray Rice is not a man and she isn’t a woman. I only feel sorry for their child.

    26. This is dumb she aint leaving that nigga cause she dont want to give up that lifestyle we all see this before it dont matter if she do got a kid wit him.This aint the first time her hit her the bitch is plain dumb I dont care what noone says would he want some one to hit his daughter like that hell naw he dont.That hoe aint giving up the lifestyle I bet he cheats on her too.

      • Naw…Harvey just wants more shine for TMZ and he’s getting it too. Last night Rachel Maddow lifted TMZ into the pantheon of tabloid media outlets which have broken NY Times/Washington Post worthy stories.
        (Like when The Enquirer broke the John Edward’s has a secret child and is cheating story.)
        I don’t think he is that up in his feelings over Michael Sam.

    27. Man shout out Ray rice and his wife shout out both of them for going to counseling seeking help getting married and trying
      to raise their kids . I’m not all for ruined a black family life it’s bad enough it’s a lot of single parent household out here a lot of them black and Hispanic the brother made a mistake made peace with his wife and got counseling and eventually got marry to the same wife who was on receiving end of his abuse she marry him so all you guys who are on here like typical abuse victim as if he did this everyday after Sundays game or on regular basis sickens me . So when is it okay to support them as a union for trying to make a positive out a negative. Oh I forgot she scare to death of him cause he beats her everyday F.O.H . A state trooper beats the shit out a black mother no outrage the brother in newyork got choke and face stump til he couldn’t breathe no outrage mike browns killer still hasn’t been charge with nothing no outrage every time it’s time to discuss race relations they trick us with this shit . I don’t condone no man hitting a women but enough is enough he already apologies pay fine been ban contract voided his wife accepting him they seeking help she telling public please leave us alone we working through this . Guess it be better he kills himself ha another single black parent . He actually does slot for the youth in New Jersey . Stop living in glass house when is it acceptable to accept his apology and seeking help

      • These niggas don’t care this is just more fake outrage that our black ppl are famous for nxt week there’ll be something else. On some real shit black men can’t win with these damn black ppl young black man married the black mother of his kids made a mistake that they are trying to work out now black women trashing both of them can’t satisfy these niggas

      • I agree with you to an extent, altho the video is disturbing. This is an opportunity for redemption for Rice. They both have the opportunity to turn a negative into a positive. It’s not impossible.

    28. Mike browns killa still hasn’t been charge , state trooper beat the shit out a black lady . Zimmerman still tooting guns on loose f*cking his wife up. . Coaches at penn states got accuse n found guilty for f*cking little boys who’s ban just go lifted . Spare me with this rice shit I’m not for judging and f*cking up black family she made peace the seeking help he got ban what else him to kill himself ? Everybody except me be happy then

    29. I won’t judge because I don’t know them and wasn’t there but it does not appear that he had a care in the world has he dragged her body out. Wouldn’t a man lovingly pick up their significant other if he made a mistake. He moved her out the way like last night’s trash. Ijs.

    30. I get so sick of people saying its because he is Black, its the White media, it the wife;s fault no its Ray Rice’s fault. He spit on her firat which is the worst thing you can do. The stupidity of the Black athlete gave birth to TMZ Sports. Moral of the story is not to be a dumb idiot. These athletes are like children and all of sports are losing money because of dope, DV, DUIS, rape scandals. The paying public is tired of it & the NFL won’t lose millions over these dummies no matter how high you can jump or fast you can run.

      • This goes back to greek & roman gladiators–it’s distracting entertainment. I think people LOVE to place people on pedestals to then gleefully cheer when their a$$es fall off–or better yet, are pushed off.

    31. This is Ray Rice’s fault. He knew that he had a $25mil contract and risked it all for a drunken argument with his lady? Seriously. I feel nothing for him and his stupidity. A man knows how to control his emotions. This wasn’t a case where a stranger attacked his woman and he went off on a man trying to protect his woman or his child.

      Ray beat his woman like SHE was a stranger that he didn’t give a f*ck about. He kicked while she was down instead of carrying her away to safety. He dragged her across the floor. I feel nothing for this piece of vermin. Had she killed him after she regained consciousness, I would have had some hope for her.

      He will kill this woman. This is the first time he was caught on tape, not the first time he beat her. She is stuck. If she tries to leave now, he will end her life. Murder suicide. That’s how animals like him would react to adversity.

    32. @babsbunny
      Yes, it will. I went through so much verbal,sexual,physical abuse n my life. It has not been easy. But i am trying to heal. I was 8-9 when i was molested, 18-19 i was raped. Bi polar ass dad (not diagnosed) i believe he is. He was very abusive busted noses,lips,verbally abusive. Very controlling. I use to wonder why my mom nvr stood up for me wen he busted my lips,nose. He would ball up his fist n she wud jus sip her coffee. Now she wud nvr let tht happen to my brother. However i use to feel worthless,dirty. Wen i was raped it was my first time wit sex. All the glitzy n glamour story of virginity being shared wit loved one was shattered. Now im a little better,i have little self esteem n confidence

      • Afrocubana, I am so moved by your story and my prayers are with you.

        Funny how the men in our society are always protected, but the women are discarded.

        Abused girls are prey for abusers. The abuse must never happen. When Black communities around the world begin to VALUE their little girls, then we will be able to heal communally.

      • @ Afrocuban I’m so sorry that you had to go through that Afro. I was also molested when i was younger by a family member and it took me about 11 yrs. To come to look at myself in a mirror and know that it was not my fault and that I don’t have to carry around the shame and guilt what of what I went through. And with God and through time you Will began he process of healing.

    33. Preiction: Ray Rice will go on Oprah then Ellen and hold hands and cuddle and by next September hell be a NY Jet ad all will be forgotten. Give em a second chance.

    34. Janay Palmer you done lost your mind. Ray knocked you unconscious and dragged your ass was a rug. Wake up because the next time it happens you might not be so lucky.

    35. Unfortunately, besides this man’s inability to stay in control of his anger and actions, a really big part of the problem is that people are constantly making excuses for an individual who is a high performing, top level athlete. Over and over these people are put on a pedestal that they don’t deserve and people make excuses for them and cover up their bad deeds because they are famous or a celebrity of some sort or, of course, a professional athlete. These people get away with crap that the normal person would never get away with. THIS is the crux of the problem. They think they can get away with it because they can and they do but they shouldn’t. Rules and punishments that apply to you and me should apply to them as well. Equally. The only way to put an end to this BS is to start treating them the same as any other scrub. No excuses. And that goes for all the rich, not just the well known. Reference ‘affluenza’ to see what I am taking about.

    36. They may have paid him the value of his career to be the poster boy for domestic violence! Shittttt why not??? Just like magic and chris brown..them niggas sure did come up on alot of money after their “so called” negative media exposure!

    37. Plus this is can also be used to further widen the rift between black men and black women relationships

    38. Very true! In the black community abuse is swept under the rug so to speak. Its sickening to me. @babsbunny

    39. He better cry on stage like Chris Brown. Lol. Then wear a big blue bowtie. The glasses are not enough.

    40. Some of you people are so judgmental. You better hope when it is your time to be judged (and it will come) that THE ALMIGHTY has more mercy on you than you have shown Ray Rice. Remember,in all things you really do reap what you sow….the same lack of mercy you have for this man will be the same lack of mercy that comes to you one day when you need it the most. I promise you that. What goes around,comes around.

    41. BREAKING NEWS RAY RICE JUST LOST ALL HIS ENDORSMENT DEAL I HOPE THIS ISNT A MURDER SIUCIDE IN THE MAKING THE ELITES LET THIS VIDEO BE SEEN CAUSE RAY WASNT DOING WHAT HE WAS TOLD, JUST LIKE J AN B IN THE ELEVATOR. HE PROBABLY DOENT WANT TO DO RITUALS ANYMORE.

    42. I don’t know but behind this and solange elevators aint safe no mo. I’m taking the stairs

    43. I was with an abusive man for years and had his kids. I know dumb as hell right. I guess after I had my first kid I thought the bastard was gone change. He didn’t it just got worst. He went to jail for beating his other baby mother and I took that opportunity to get a restraining order. And a 9mm. He’s out and don’t bother me but all the years I wasted on this coward I can’t get back. I feel sorry for his next woman because he nice in the beginning but when she see his true colors its gonna be all bad. This lady needs to get out RIGHT NOW. Before its too late. I made it out still in one piece by the grace of god.

      • Don’t feel dumb, these types of men come like snakes. Then when you try to get rid of them they either beg and cry or they act psychotic. I now can spot them out because if you are a kind hearted women or laid back they latch on to you. I learned from my experience that If they try to rush and be your man so quick run the other way. Im sure you know what Iam talking about.

    44. Ray rice T.K.O.’ed her he knocked her out cold!! He knocked her into another world now that was wrong by all counts now I don’t think they should’ve fired him from the N.F.L. permanently but I do think he should have gotten a year off and half his pay and a warning if he even spits on the ground wrong he’s out that’s what should’ve happen something in that area and for her to marry him I think she needs consulting I would’ve waited until this die down and he seeks help with his temper or whatever lead him ta drop her like that somethings going on with him obviously seek help because this is not the first time he’s hit her I bet I don’t know but I bet this isn’t the first time both need help I understand she loves him but I would have seeked counseling before marriage

    45. I was in this situation. I got my ass up call the police, they took pics, and his ass went to jail. Plus, he was on probation. His excuse, “Judge, I was drinking.” Judge, “I don’t care you was sober! U don’t hit my women…PERIOD!”” Time he did I forgot but wasn’t long. Left his ass. Today, he look like shit! Do I care? Nope!

    46. her head hit the hand rail that is what knocked her out . this was never meant by them to be made public . I know there are some women that will agree some relationship thrive on the threat of violence some women like to be treated in a rough fashion and each one has her level . the stance that Jenay took in that elevator leads me to believe this was not the first time they’ve had a physical squabble , she did NOT take the posture of a woman that was afraid . Ok now they have reconcile and moved on they have but the media and white feminist and some stupid negros wont let them . why are some so eager to break up a happy home ?

    47. What if it was an honest mistake, peopledo make those. i aint saying he was right but she did provoke him by slapping and spitting on him. i think da judge should judge. they should get punished. he should still be able to provide for his family. a good suspension is necessary but not fired for good. NFL giving him life for a fight

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